全真模考二：写作实战与评析
约 13 分钟
这一节做两道写作题，并附逐条评分分析——看清阅卷员是怎么给分的。
Part 6（10 分钟）
Your English friend Sam is coming to visit your city next week.
Write an email to Sam.
Say:
- when you will meet him
- where you will meet
- what you will do together
Write 25 words or more.
Part 7（12 分钟）
三幅图：
①一个男孩在图书馆看书，把书包放在旁边的椅子上
②他起身还书，回来发现书包不见了
③图书管理员笑着把书包递给他（有人捡到交给了前台）Write the story shown in the pictures. Write 35 words or more.
Part 6 三个版本对照
版本 A（2 分）
I will meet you Monday. At station. We go park.
| 问题 |
|---|
| 只有 11 词，远低于 25 词 |
| 语法错：meet you on Monday；at the station；we will go |
| 没称呼没署名 |
| 三个要点虽然都碰到，但太简略 |
版本 B（3–4 分）
Hi Sam,
I will meet you on Monday at 10 o'clock. I will meet you at the train station. We will go to the museum.
Li Ming
| 优点 | 不足 |
|---|---|
| 三要点全、语法正确、有称呼署名 | 三句都是 I will... 句式重复；没有连词；没有细节；语气平淡 |
版本 C（5 分）
Hi Sam,
I can't wait to see you! I'll meet you on Monday morning at about ten. I'll be waiting at the train station, near the big clock — it's easy to find. After that, let's go to the science museum because I know you love machines. Then we can have lunch in my favourite noodle shop!
See you soon,
Li Ming
| 维度 | 表现 |
|---|---|
| 内容 | 三要点全，且每个都有具体细节（几点、在钟旁边、去哪个馆、吃什么） |
| 交际 | I can't wait、感叹号、let's——语气热情自然 |
| 结构 | After that、because、Then——句子串成一段 |
| 语言 | 句式有变化（陈述、祈使 let's、感叹） |
约 60 词。注意版本 B 和 C 的差别不在难词，而在「具体」和「连接」。
Part 7 参考范文（5 分）
One afternoon, a boy called Peter was reading in the library. He put his schoolbag on the chair next to him. After an hour, he went to return his books. When he came back, his bag had gone! Peter was very worried and didn't know what to do. He looked everywhere, but he couldn't find it. Luckily, someone had found the bag and taken it to the desk. The librarian smiled and gave it back to him. In the end, Peter was very happy and said thank you.
约 85 词。检查：
| 项 | ✓ |
|---|---|
| 三幅图全写到 | ✓ |
| 全程过去时 | ✓ |
| 串联词 One afternoon / After / When / Luckily / In the end | ✓ |
| 人物有名字 | ✓ |
| 用了过去进行时 was reading | ✓ |
| 情绪句 worried → happy | ✓ |
给自己打分
对照下表给自己的两篇打分：
| 分数 | 标准 |
|---|---|
| 5 | 要点全 + 有细节 + 有连词 + 句式有变化 + 几乎无语法错 |
| 4 | 要点全 + 语法基本正确 + 有 1–2 个连词 |
| 3 | 要点全 + 有少量语法错 + 全是简单句 |
| 2 | 漏一个要点，或字数不足 |
| 1 | 漏两个要点，或严重语法错误影响理解 |
练习：把自己写的 Part 6 按版本 C 的思路改写一遍——给每个要点加一个具体细节，加两个连词。
写作范文版本 B（3-4 分）和版本 C（5 分）的差别不在难词，那在哪两点？
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