Part 7 范文精讲

这一节精讲两篇范文，一篇看差距，一篇看细节。

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题目一

三幅图：①女孩在家做蛋糕　②烤箱冒烟，蛋糕烧焦了　③妈妈笑着和她一起去店里买了一个蛋糕

学生版本（约 3 分）

A girl make a cake. The cake is bad. She buy a cake with her mother.

逐句诊断：

问题	说明
make / buy 没变过去式	时态错误，Part 7 最大失分点
The cake is bad	用了现在时；且没说清「烧焦了」
只有 16 词	低于 35 词底线
没有串联词	三句互不相干，像三张图的说明文字
没有情绪	故事没有结局感

满分版本

Last Sunday, Emma decided to make a birthday cake for her mother. She put it in the oven and went to watch TV. Suddenly she smelled something strange — the cake was burning! Emma was very upset and didn't know what to do. Luckily, her mother wasn't angry. She laughed and took Emma to the shop, and they bought a beautiful cake together. In the end, they both had a lovely day.

约 70 词。亮点：

1. 全程过去时，一个都没漏
2. 串联词齐全：Last Sunday / Suddenly / Luckily / In the end
3. 加了图上没有但合理的细节（went to watch TV、smelled something strange）——这不算跑题，反而让故事连贯
4. 有情绪转折：upset → lovely day
5. 用了 was burning（过去进行时）加分

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题目二

三幅图：①男孩在公交车站等车　②他发现忘了带钱包　③司机笑着让他上了车

范文

One morning, Ben was waiting for the bus to go to school. When the bus arrived, he looked in his bag and found that he had no money — he had left his wallet at home! Ben felt worried because he was going to be late. However, the driver smiled and told him he could pay the next day. Ben said thank you and got on the bus. He was very grateful.

约 70 词。这篇多用了一个高级点：had left（过去完成时），表示「在发现之前就落下了」。不会用也没关系，写成 he forgot his wallet 同样满分——KET 不要求高级语法，要求准确。

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从这两篇总结的四个提分动作

1. 给人物起个名字（Emma、Ben）——比 a girl / a boy 生动，也避免代词混乱。
2. 加一个图上没有的合理细节——让故事有因果，不是图片说明。
3. 用一次过去进行时（was waiting / was burning）。
4. 结尾必写情绪句。

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一个常见疑问：可以完全脱离图片自己编吗？

不可以。 三幅图的主线必须写到。你可以补充细节，但不能改变故事——图上是蛋糕烧焦，你写成蛋糕很成功，就是跑题，内容分会很低。

练习：把题目二的三幅图用自己的话重写一遍，要求：给人物起名、用一次 was ...ing、结尾有情绪句、40 词以上。